you have sweet moments and thoughts throughout this, jackie : ) it makes an enjoyable read. the next thing that you need to work on is creating a better flow and connection so that the reader can almost gloss through it that is what will take your writing from good to great ;
My name is Jackie and I play the bass in orchestra. Yuppppp. I'm in theater, i like to act. ummmm, i like to read. i'm addicted to aim, facebook, and any other online blog type communication site such as this. lol, yea, that's about it!
you have sweet moments and thoughts throughout this, jackie : ) it makes an enjoyable read. the next thing that you need to work on is creating a better flow and connection so that the reader can almost gloss through it that is what will take your writing from good to great ;
ReplyDeletethe rhythm was almost broken, i must tut.
ReplyDeletebut otherwise, it was acceptable.