I breath your air
Sucking it in
I can feel your pulse through the melancholy sigh
It's enough,
that's all I need
so close it hurts
Sucking it in
I can feel your pulse through the melancholy sigh
It's enough,
that's all I need
so close it hurts
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you have sweet moments and thoughts throughout this, jackie : ) it makes an enjoyable read. the next thing that you need to work on is creating a better flow and connection so that the reader can almost gloss through it that is what will take your writing from good to great ;
ReplyDeletethe rhythm was almost broken, i must tut.
ReplyDeletebut otherwise, it was acceptable.