young

Tied to a tree

a child none the less
stuck here frozen in time,
growing are all the rest

Berries

Take a sip of my Bitter Juice,
just one taste will do it all.
Then lie here next to me,
in my constitutional grave.

just a little something to think about

A dull moan sighs thick through the fog
as the ferry slowly aches over the ocean's tired waves.
A long pause awaits before we step off of the boat.
Everything drags here, as if life was put on hold.
As if time has been halted, and we drag on, in this mass of time pulled into a single moment.
The moon's light doesn't even bear down on us anymore. You just see the white, and notice nothing. Its rays never glow. Now as I think of this, and step down on the creaky stairs leading onto the deck, and I see you looking. It takes a moment for you gaze to reach mine. Though you are looking, a small pause awaits before I actually see your eyes, your pupils. Your face is worn, ragged and left unshaven. As a soft wind blows through the air, your hair is ruffled. You turn away, and the darkness of your stare goes on.

~The footsteps of a stranger remain, they mold into the life left behind, into the air that sits still. They hold each second into their soles, and press them to the rotten wood. Only that sound stays, as all others die away.

Shadows

This is just a random thought, but did you ever wonder about shadows? During the day we are almost always accompanied by a shadow, our own shadow. I guess you could say that the shadow is a part of us. And at night we have no shadow, so maybe at night, we are the shadows, as someone else lives the life of us. And maybe, just maybe, at night our subconscious lives as us in a world of other other peoples minds, as their actual people trail behind. And maybe we are the subconscious mind right now, maybe our human is sleeping, and we really aren't what we think. Maybe we aren't really us, we are just what we think is us. And our lives aren't real, just a figment of our imagination. Maybe we are just shadows of ourselves. maybe we really are just someone else's mind and thoughts, maybe we have no meaning whatsoever, and everything in our brain, is just controlled by the human we belong to. And maybe they aren't even human at all. And if that was true, each subconscious person would be living a different life basedon the persons thoughts we are derived from, which would mean no one existed and we were just living in someone's made up dream world. And if that were true, we wouldn't be real at all. And everything we did and thought, would all be someone else's dream. We would be fake. And maybe if we were actually human, every dream or thought we had would be true. Every person we think woudl be living in our thoughts, and they wouldn't even know it. And maybe that imagionary person has thoughts about people. And that person has thoughts too. Maybe this is all a bunch of thoughts from one persons brain that have created what we think is life, and maybe is in it's own way. Maybe the one person that thought this up was God. And he thought up Earth, and Humans, and life. And in that case, we are all God's shadows, which means we are a part of him. So we are all in fact connected to God. which would also mean that we are also a part of eachother on some subconcious level giving all humans a connection. And maybe one day we will realize that connection which will solve all problems and answer every question by peicing together the origins of our universe and establishing the meaning of life into every one of us. That, I beleive, is the true maening of a shadow.

Truth

You wrap around me in the dead of night,
like a ghost's whisper

Endings

Take another breath,
Oh please don't die

Don't

Don't burn me baby
with that torch in your hands
and that flame in your heart
don't burn me baby

Don't cut me honey
with those piercing dark eyes
and the blade in your stare
don't cut me honey

Don't leave me lover
with the soles of your feet
and the back of your back
don't leave me lover

Don't kill me sugar
leave a living life
with that shining smile
don't kill me sugar

Don't love me sweetie
take your palm from my cheek
with your soft honey arms
don't love me sweetie

Don't step on a soul
as you walk out the door
leaving me behind

crystal

I mock myself to even think
that I would look beautiful,
because the cruel words of the murderers
took away my eyes

waiting

I die a few days
as I sit here,
when morning comes
I'm sure you'll still be gone

Blind

Read my mind
Do it for me
because I can't see

beat

I breath your air
Sucking it in
I can feel your pulse through the melancholy sigh
It's enough,
that's all I need
so close it hurts

Shatter

It hits me hard to see you again
After you have been absent from my presence,
It feels as though you are fading
but then the moment I see you once more
I collapse under your command
and hope you can't see
because my life is in your arms
you hold it with a tight grasp
but dare to drop it
and I'll just die
dare to walk a step closer and I'll tear myself to pieces
dare to touch me and I won't hold myself back anymore
Love is on the verge of breakdown
You rip me to shreds

light

sitting alone,
a soft spring kiss melts in my palm,
the pain dissolves away

;]

You smiled at me
It was genuine happiness
We laughed together
And it was heaven

after taste

Underneath it all,

a chocolate heart remains

unwrapping the silver foil,

I take a tender bite

A sweet taste melts on my tongue and a redolent scent fill my nose

ahh, heaven

After swallowing the last morsle

a pungent after taste seeps through my mouth

and sinks down my throught

I wipe it from my lips, but it does not fade

A hidden sadness lingers in my mind

I will never experience the magical taste again,

At least it was wonderful while it lasted

Fears

behind fogged glass
a fear coulds the mirror
Wiping at the reflection I see nothing there
I'm alone in the world as death lingers in the wrinkles of my old, worn life
No second chances are given,
I failed for eternity
The only one left to pity myself is me
And yet I feel the eyes of God on my shoulder as I fall below the floor
All life is wasted
It is forgotten

Ahead one moon of a clear summer night,
a breeze flows through the air
The wind playfully tugs at my mind as I think and suddenly freeze
You seep into my mind leaving an icy taste on my soft, warm evening
A troubled past peels away the blur from my view and
reality steps in
it steals me away and reveals the painful truth
You caught my facade and you drag me from my pretend world
The darkness is bitter as you take hold of my life,
As you take hold of me

smell

I see you from afar,

standing in the horizon

The sun leaves a soft haze around your face as it begins to rise

this morning is particularly dull

every leaf drooping from its branch is in a complete melancholy silence

You slowly walk closer with a straight face

a sadness lingers in your eyes

it pulls me in

the moisture clings to my clothes as I yearn to reach out and touch you,

to hold your hand,

to embrace you

my soul rips from my body as my feet stay in place

Restraining myself, I feel an urgency rise as you walk past

my hand twitches

I shiver as your scent approaches
The soft smell feels milky on my skin,
and it caresses my face
It wraps around my body and curls at my every whim,
It surrounds me, and enters my mind without knowing
The smell intoxicates me with such an intensity that my mind whirls with thoughts and memories of you
I stumble and gasp as you walk directly past me

I long to leap from my body and do what I know I can't, or what I shouldn't
the scent carries me along
it drags me out of my body, and pulls me along side

As you walk ahead,

the feeling passes,

I regain my senses

thinking clearly, I blink out my eyes and straiten my posture,

though I will never breath again

Death

I had an epiphany. The purpose of life is death. We do everything we do, so we can do it before we die. If people lived forever, there wouldn't be a point in anything, because there wouldn't be a time limit. It's like, because we know we are going to die one day, we try to have the best life possible. But if you never die, then you will stop trying, and the whole point of life will be lost. Imagine sitting day after day knowing there will never be an end, so it's like, what does it matter. There has to be an end somewhere, and everything leads to the end. In a book, you read untill the last sentance... the point of the whole story is for it to end. Once you read that last page of a book, everything falls into place. All problems are resolved. It is the resolution. So why isn't life like that. We live for there to be an end. Dying is your resolution. Without it, you'd be an unfinished book. So in order to have the best life possible, you have to die.

...

I type...

I delete and try start over

There is a blank window in front of me

I begin once more

The words pour out uncontollably

everything is a crumpled mess

It sounds stupid

I try to explain my 'feelings'

too bad I'm not even sure what I am feeling

I lose focus and stare into space

I listen to silence

[delete]

poems and stuff

I wrote some poems for Under my skin. I revised it some more and included qoutes at the bigginning of each section. Here they are. They sound more dramitic in the context of the story, but oh well

grin

Your face causes me pain, but you cause me much more

Body

Look in the mirror and find yourself

Mind

My mind is my passageway, free from all evil

Synopsis

Because I have lived in agony, death is of no sorrow

Hope you like them :)

Ponder

This isn't really a poem either, it's kind of a ballet type thing. I'm not completely sure.

I ponder why the world spins round, and the wind pushes back, only to find that you linger in every thought

Does she know, can she tell,

Is it that obvious?

Do I give everything away, is it wrong to want what you have with her?

I wonder if what I feel is really true, because sometimes I see you in disgust, and I feel akward and misplaced

If you really did love me back what would I do, would you treat me like everyone else you've been with? Would it be a replay of you past relationships? I want to be speacial. I want to be able to tell you everything, I want to feel in my every move and thought and word before I say I love you.

Burst

This isn't really a poem, it's kind of a group of thoughts, and don't get freaked out if you think I can't trust you. This is an exageration of how it sometimes feels when you can't tell someone something.

Burst

I need to talk, because when things are bottled up, they tend to burst.

I am about to burst, and yet I find no trust in anyone, not even the blank page that I scribble my pencil over. Only I can understand what it feels like to look at you. Only I can understand what it feels like to lose you when I never had you in the first place. Only I can understand what it's like when you are with her, when she rests her head on your shoulder. When you laugh together and I try to join in. I feel so stupid, why would you even want to talk to me? I'm just a random person. You don't need anyone else, you have eachother. I have no one.

Not me

He stares at her and smiles, love is love

Too bad she can't see

He might be better off that way,

because what kind of a fool would love me

Under My Skin

This is the complete version. I made a bunch of changes to Body and I worte Mind. Please read and comment. This is a sattirre about losing yourself in the midst of everone else.

Preface
Every time I look, I see something in your eyes. It makes me ponder for a moment why time passes so quickly, because your eyes are like a mirror. I study myself in them, and it seems different. Your sallow eyes, they hold no true meaning to me other than the fact that I see myself
Grin

I see you from across the room, you are sneering at Me., your two crescent lips poised above your white teeth. The mocking expression makes me shiver under my skin in complete repulsion. My bones quiver as you shift your eyes mockingly on me. The nasty truth is bearing right now, you hold your gaze with mine. I fight it- but the tar in your expression has caught me by surprise. My mouth falls open and you saunter across the room to question my strangled appearance. I long for you to leave. As you walk closer, my heart stutters and a melancholy mood spreads through my body. You look at my face and your lips part. It causes me pure agony to watch you. I wrap my fingers around the sneer and yank it from your nasty face. With the cold teeth in my hand, I replace the mouth on mine. You stare at me horrified as I contour the lips into an expression of a smirk. My blood lurches with poison. You crumble on the ground and disintegrate in my stare. My heart shrivels and I find satisfaction in that. I pick up your eyes from the cold rock terrain and clutch them in my fist. They shiver in my palm. I thrust them over my eyes. I look at the world for the first time through your nasty stare. I grasp my head and scream.

Body

I am tortured. The sight of my greenish hands makes me gag. I think of you, and shudder. The motion doesn’t quite feel right though. The series of shivers that ripple through my body, remind me of you. I think of your back, and its elongated spine. It arches in many places and disrupts the skin in which it sits. The eyes continued upward in the thought. Your shoulder blades protrude from your smooth back and contoure as you move your arms. Your neck cranes miserably to the side and often tilts up with such agony that I cower in the expression. Black, long hair twists around your skull. It holds knots in its roots and nappes around your neck. Pale white is the color of you face. It sucks in all life into the darkest pit of resentment. As I would long to take a step forward, my instincts kick in and I would shudder from your tight grip. Your hands are of complete majesty. Their long, arched fingers stroke my cheek, leaving a longing sensation that never fades. I bring my warm hand to my cheek. It is ice cold. My hand is repelled from the spot. It is hard to concentrate now; tears are falling from your eyes, now my eyes. I rub them away, but pause when I feel the grimacing pain from them. I shiver once more, the image of you fading from my mind. I look up from the silver ground and crawl forward. There is nothing here. The presence of life is all sucked away from this one room, though there are no walls. I grasp at the air, trying to find some meaning to all of this. Losing my mind, I run away from nothing. My legs won’t move, they are dragging along the ground. My body collapses and I feel pressed to the ground by the nothingness. The immense pressure makes me scream in fear. I twist over and see you there. Your body is lying on the white floor. Your skin is pale and colorless. I crawl over to your body and notice the face. All expression is faded. It is utterly blank. My hand traces a line down the center of it, but stops where the lips are supposed to be. I lurch in pain and curl in misery. I feel it ripping me apart from the inside out. Trying to ignore the agony, I grasp your body closer than I ever had. In one movement, I replace my body with yours. I feel as if my skin is ripped away, as if my identity is gone. Stretching my limbs I feel as if they are tearing away from me. The foreign body is frozen from misery. It feels empty. I hunch over and collapse. My chest is shuddering ripping away. The emptiness is eating everything. The eyes are gone. The smirk is gone. I am gone.

Mind
I open my eyes once more in a trance. I can ignore the pain now, each breath is a reminder that this will never end. I have learned to get used to it, though it never gets better. The pain never changes, only my ability to tolerate it. My mind has changed; the things I held dear before are gone. I don’t think anymore, sometimes I wonder whether it would be easier to not have brain at all. The thoughts wouldn’t burden us, there wouldn’t be any feeling. There wouldn’t be anything. The white slate in my mind has stayed blank. I have nothing. Everything just happens. There is no reason for anything anymore. Suddenly, my eyes open. I never wanted them to, it just happened. The slightest of motion wakes me up from the days I had spent unconscious. I slowly sit up and begin to think. I remember you first. The face popped into my head. It haunted me, your cruel unjust features tortured me. The thoughts flood my mind. I think of why I am here. Your face appears once more. It doesn’t fade. The anger builds inside me. I run. I leave everything behind. The stress on the body is too much. The pressure pulls me down. I am dragged away from myself. Out in the distance, I see a crystal, dull and cracked. My hands longed to hold it, to grasp it. The dull surface sucked me in. It lies there, just sitting unattended. It is calling for me. Its white edges pierce the atmosphere around it. Rolling forward, my finger strokes the glass edge. Every feeling in my mind disappears as the crystal shatters. My thoughts are covered with yours. Every nasty evil thing is forced into my thoughts. Nothing of me remains; it is only you. Tortured ideas rip through my skull and I give up. Sleep overtakes me, but is only filled with your nightmares. As I wake up the world around me spins. Out of every thought that was stolen, and every idea crushed, one thing remains. It makes me shiver and grasp my head. I turn over onto my stomach and keep my face from contouring too much. The pain is obvious, I feel like sobbing. You don’t regain control. You leave me with this one last feeling. The last thing I remember. It is true. I hate you with all my being, with everything I have, and now that I have nothing, I long for you with every thought in my head and every hope I ever will have.

~Life ended there. As I twisted one more time, I felt my body fall through the air. I didn’t scream.

[Blank]2

Now that I can remember,

there is no way that I can forgive and forget

You've taken it too far

You and your lies just need to walk out the door

hurry up,

I'm already gone

(3rd in eyes, grin)

Body

I am tortured. The sight of my greenish hands makes me gag. My cold nimble fingers nervously trace my palm as I plan what to do next. In my memory, I see your body lurched over in a crouch. Your neck craned around to watch me helplessly. I see your elbows bent without joints; the pallid skin over your bones hangs miserably in rags. Suddenly I look up from my palm and stare at my surroundings. I stand in a room full of mirrors. The reflection dances from glass to glass. My eyes flicker unintentionally to each one. My eyes glance down. The ground is bare. White stone is lays unevenly on it. I study one image. A frail body stands before me, its eyes sallow and meaningless. The sneer on its face horrifies me. The arms lie limply at the person’s side. The skin is murky yellow. I bring my hand up to my face and watch as the person follows. The hair is long and plastered the thing’s neck. It twists around the face. I grasp the strands of hair that hangs around my neck. They crumble in my grip. The face is thin and droopy. The features are fading off it. I turn. The person is me. I know it. My cold, thin legs carry me out of the room, but it never ends. The mirrors surround me. I cover my eyes, but the image stays behind my eyelids. The rage builds inside of me. My body smashes into a mirror and I fall through the other side. Your body sits on a stone, motionless, dead. I force myself to do it. My fingernail traces the check. It is empty. The mouth and eyes are gone. You are white. My fingers instinctively touch the lips and eyes now on my face. I hold the body with my hands and breathe out. My mind is collapsing. I thrust myself into the body and grimace in sheer pain that overwhelms me my arms stretch through the leathery skin. My neck bends awkwardly and by back twitches miserably. I can feel the skin on my skin. It wraps itself around me and strangles my limbs. Its rough edges scratch me. Something escapes from my breath. I watch as a piece of crystal is coughed from your throat. My soul crumbles. The body I stand in feels empty. I hunch over and collapse. The emptiness is eating everything away. The eyes are gone. The smirk is gone. I am gone.

grin (sequel to eyes)

This one is kind of creepy. I don't mean it literally so don't get freaked out. :)

I see you from across the room,

You are sneering at me

Your two crescnet lips poised above your white teeth.

The mocking expression makes me shiver under my skin in complete repulsion. My bones quiver as you shift your gaze mockingly on me.

The nasty truth is bearing right now, you hold your gaze with mine. I fight it- but the tar in your expression has caught me by surprise.

My mouth falls open and you saunter across the room to question my strangled apperance. You look at my face and your lips part. It causes me pure agony. I wrap my fingers around the sneer and yank it from your nasty face. The cold teeth in my hand, I replce the mouth on mine. You stare at me horrified as I contour the lips into an expression of a smirk. My blood lurches with poison. You crumple on the ground and disinegrate in my stare. My heart shrivles and I find satisfaction in that. I pick up your eyes from the cold rock terrain and clutch them in my fist. They shiver in my palm. I thrust them over my eyes. I look at hte world for the first time through your nasty stare. I grasp my head and scream.

Eyes

Every time I look, I see something in your eyes
It makes me ponder for a moment why time passes so fast,
Because your eyes are like mirror
I study myself in them, and It seems different
Your sallow eyes, they hold no true meaning to me other than the fact that I see myself

English Paper I wrote a wile ago

Mood Piece

Mist danced through the damp spring air as slivers of sunlight flickered in between masses of colorful trees. I sat beside yellow flowers that swayed in breeze; their buds dancing and fluttering through the swooshing wind. Ants scuttled up the soft mahogany wood that grew from velvety dirt. Watching as the tree sprouted its branches in every direction, birds sat perched on its crooked form. A gorgeous butterfly zipped and flew around my head and landed on my arm. Its brightly colored wings radiated out. Sitting on a log, I looked at the endless horizon everything was so amazingly beautiful even though an aching in my stomach bothered me. Or maybe in my side, it almost felt like it was in my bones; a feeling that made me want to shiver and crumple in fear, though it wasn ’ t fear that was bothering me. Trying to forget about it I noticed as the clouds above me bubbling and caressing around the blue sky. It became darker, hour by hour, until it was as black as midnight, and the crows wouldn ’ t dare to look at the moon looming overhead. The warmth disappeared into the empty air. Silence draped around me like a thick curtain. My own fears trapped. Broken, splintered trees beside me seemed to tower above me and claw at my mind. I could feel the shivers as they slivered and darted through my body. The icy windstrangled me, yanking my hair in tangled knots and pinching my arms like wasps. Sharp cracks of thunder terrified me and shook the no longer velvet dirt. Running, I could feel the mangled limbs of trees dart out at me, and moldy, crumpled roots grab at my ankles. I let out a shriek and my bones quivered at the emptiness of the forest. Lighting whipped at me and slashed through the heavy air. I dodged each strike and hid from the darkness. Electricity buzzed through my body, and tingled at my fingertips. The feeling in the wind was indescribable; as if the lightning was giving off an aura. Another thunderous clap knocked me to the muddy ground. A cold, clammy hand grasped my shoulder and slid down my back. I froze with fear and shut my eyes. My clothes were drenched with dried clumps of mud. The rain splattered around me as smoky clouds heaved more water down to the ground. I watched in horror as a tall, bare tree was split down the middle, an enormous explosive crack echoed around me. Bright red and blue flames lit the broken, dead tree. Its branches melted off and burned to the ground. The hot fire licked at my face and radiated burning heat. My clothes and hands rippled in the smoke that trailed in the wind. My lungs burned as dried dust and burnt wood puffed down my throat. Tears streamed down my monstrously lit face; the rain seemed to evaporatebefore it reached the fire. My heart lurched from my chest and I felt a longing for something. Though I didn ’ t know why, my blood froze cold in my back and I felt devastated; but only terrifying thoughts entered my mind. Red and orange tints darted around trees and brush; I could only imagine what could be lurking behind me. But as I turned, flames leaped in my face. Turning in endless circles, I searched for an end to the maze. My screams weren ’ t heard; not only was there no one to hear them, but the suffocating smoke swallowed them. Running terrified, I slipped on a soggy patch of grass and slid to the cool creek below. Tumbling and tripping down the endless hill, I plunged into the ice water. My arms and face cooled and stopped stinging. I breathed a sigh of relief and looked up at the numerous stars above the trees. The dried mud fell from my shirt and pants and hair. I immersed myself in the water and plunged my head under. The rain softened to a drizzle causing droplets of water to ripple on the glassy surface. Looking up from underneath the water the vision was distorted and foggy, but I still noticed a large gilled fish winding around the moonlight. Lifting my head from the water I looked above me and found that the sky had cleared. Behind me the remains of the dwindling fire twisted and twirled menacingly. Suddenly I shivered and let out a shaky breath, the water really was icecold. My numb fingers limply grabbed at the slippery edge of the pond and thrust myself up. I stretched my aching arms and legs and tossed my self on a patch of dry grass. Staring at the sky my eyes drooped shut and I dozed off to and almost dreamless state. I still had emptiness at the pit of my being, something that gnawed at me and nevertheless ached in my soul. It wasn ’ t fear. It was something colder, and darker; something that shook my whole body from pain, but I couldn ’ t quite find what was hurting. It was loneliness. I only had an empty sky filled with meaningless specks and a white moon eye that stared cruelly down at me. I was only a small fragment of what made up this universe, one in billions; surrounded by thousands; going to school with hundreds, in a overpopulated world- and yet I had never felt so alone. Old memories and events flashed through my mind and I tried to decipher why and how I could be so lonely and empty. Trying so hard to find something, anything that could explain this epiphany, I realized how tired I really was. My mind collapsed into a deep sleep; I was completely numb. The world around me stopped spinning, and all of those millions and billions of people didn’t matter anymore, because when I woke up, I was free.

[blank]

Forgiving and forgetting is impossible

when there is nothing to remember

Feelings

Yeah- I know the title is really retarted, but I couldn't think of anything better, so oh well. :)

Feelings

There is no way to explain how I feel right now-
If I did, you might never forgive me

MY FIRST POSTTT

This poem is short and kind of depressing, but I don't really care. :)

Ahead

I’m in love with someone who’s one step ahead,
I was too late